Hello, Goodbye.

And it's so far to fall
From the warm light in your eyes
To nothin' at all

-- Cheryl Wheeler, "So Far to Fall"

A few days ago I received a very special letter. It was a response to last week's letter I sent to my biological mother who gave me up for adoption 32 years ago. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever read in my life. She's kind and intelligent and witty and thoughtful. She answered some of the questions I had asked her, and some questions I didn't even know I had. Many questions, however, were left untouched. And faster than I could put pen to paper and write her again, she let me know that this would be the last time we'd correspond. In the kindest of ways, she asked me to not contact her again. It stung, but I cannot take it personally because I know how hard things must have been for her, and probably still are.

I know she is OK and that in many ways, I am like her. One thing in common is that we both love music. She gave me the name of a folk singer she loves, and suggested I check her out. I'm listening to Cheryl Wheeler's songs right now, wondering so many things...

Everywhere I turn everyone is lost in this thing
'Cause something feels gone
Life is nothing like we dreamed it might be
And we don't move forward, can't move back
We hold our hands out hoping for that
--
Seems impossible to know
What is real and what is just some restless thing
And our hearts learn slow all the miseries bad choices bring
So is it wise or lazy holding tight to what you've known
And is it brave or crazy searching for some

-- Cheryl Wheeler, "One Love"